Many posts/articles/shows I've experienced lately are on the matter of feminism and the women's movement. And while I am a feminist, I firstly consider myself an advocate of humans in general.

There is a gigantic revolt against the idea of women needing to be fragile and thin to be beautiful. However what has not changed is the idea that a man does not need to be muscular, stoic, and strong to be a man. However I have many women friends who swoon over thin men, men with a bit more tummy, men with hair. I know the revolution as far as women were concerned allowed themselves to see men in a different role than before... As a partner, not a caregiver.

This mindset hasn't changed for men though. Men still long to be that carved David, muscular, tall, and made of cold marble. Men who choose less "manly" professions are heckled, men that show the slightest weakness are bullied. Men who have mood disorders suffer much more because they are afraid of admitting they have issues, and the suicide rate for men is 4:1 women. 4:1!!!

Men, you'd be surprised at the things women are attracted to. I love my husband's lean body that he himself is ashamed of. You are going to be a man no matter what shape you are in, or beliefs you hold, or what career path draws you. There is no "ideal" man like there is no "ideal" woman. Break free of the gender stereotypes. You too are beautiful the way you are.

(Warning: This post contains an inordinate amount of generalizations. There are always exceptions.)

In these modern times, women are just as capable (if not more) than our male companions. We work, raise children (no easy task), are educated, take care of our home, yet when it comes to mating rituals, extremely old conceptions of how things should be still reign supreme.

I often see women bunkered in a corner of a party, chatting with each other and making sideways glances at men they are interested in, while glaring at the other women. They seem to think that men should approach them. Especially since they spent all that time analyzing themselves in the mirror and correcting minute details.

To a man, you are in a fortress. You are Rapunzel, attractive but unattainable because you won't let your hair down so they can meet you. Basically, you make yourself impossible to talk to.

This is why girls only ever talk to smooth players, the guys that are skilled at climbing towers and conquering women. And they fall for it, while the men have already moved on by that time to another tower.

So here are things you can do to attract good men and keep them coming back.

Don't sweat the small stuff

When you get ready to go out, cut the amount of time you spend looking and hating yourself at least in half. Just put on something you think looks good and is also comfortable (nothing will fall out if you move wrong, the tag isn't itchy and your straps don't keep falling down). Don't worry about making sure every little imperfection is corrected. Men are simple creatures. They won't notice. Ever get in a relationship with a man and you get your hair chopped off and colored and he doesn't notice? Yeah, he definitely won't see the little stray eyebrow hair. Most of the dressing women do are for intimidating other women. Forget it.

Don't be selective

When you arrive, don't just stick with your clique. Branch out, talk to everyone. That includes other women. Everyone there has just as many insecurities as you do. Be nice to your own gender. Make girl friends. Talk to any man around you, strike up a conversation. Even if he isn't your type, now you look and act approachable.

Smile!

Genuinely smile, laugh, joke, flirt, tease. Be open and happy. Let go of how you hate your booty and shake it. Forget keeping your hair perfect. Let your personality shine.

Compliment

Casanova said, “tell a beautiful woman she's smart and a smart woman she's beautiful.” Well, compliments don't go very far with women anymore, our own insecurities breed paranoia and distrust. However, men are REALLY susceptible to compliments. Try it. Even if he plays modest and brushes it off, you'll notice how he starts to stand up straighter and his chest puffs out a bit. Men LOVE compliments. They never get them, and if you make them feel good about themselves, they'll keep coming back.

Don't take numbers

This may seem contrary to the message, but men also like chasing rather than being pursued. So feel free to give out your number, don't bother taking theirs. If they're interested, they'll let you know.

Don't expect anything

I see women pining after men that are clearly not interested quite often. Women are often apt to fall for these men who trample their hearts. But what they don't realize is often they are putting their hearts on the ground and men step all over them because they don't realize or see that they are doing so. They also just don't care because they weren't really interested in the first place. So, don't expect anything from the man you met last night. Even if you slept with him, assume it was a one night stand. Forget him. If he genuinely likes you, he will contact you. Men generally hate feeling like they're trapped, they assume if you are pursuing them they should run because they're being hunted.

Compliment yourself

You are beautiful, intelligent, strong, and completely worthy of love. You have flaws but you are not a bad person. Treat yourself as well as you would treat anyone else. While it would be nice to meet the man of your dreams tomorrow, if it doesn't happen, it isn't a reflection of your self worth. Go do things that make you happy.

So I am writing again for the first time in a while. My thoughts are slowed and tepid, rattling around long enough for me to catch them in graphite.

Most of today was spent pooling out in the bed. My veins seem to be filled with mercury, cold, heavy, and poisonous. And my head is so empty I can hear the stillness, the dead air that hangs above me. I can't move. I don't want to anyway.

Sometimes in a show of remorse for how pathetic I am, I cry. Not really crying as it is commonly known, but more of water dripping out of the corner of my eye, like a faucet, instead of a welling of emotion.

It is peaceful, in some sense of the word, in the dark. I can't see the monsters that lurk. They don't care to give me much thought anyway. I'm about as interesting as a turtle in the zoo to the eyes of a child.

People talk of god on electronic versions of papers stuck to corkboards. I look at them with a sense of bated disbelief, the same feeling when I read about "0 down 0% interest" cars for sale. I can look around this room and ask the monsters, "Does god know I'm here?" and their silence suggests they haven't a clue what I'm talking about.